From The Crap-That-Should-Be-Obvious Files: #11 – Passing Lanes

Posted in crap that should be obvious, crime, driving, news with tags , , on February 24, 2011 by seehoweasy

If you are driving on a single-lane road or highway, and there are any number of cars behind you wanting to drive faster than you are driving, and a passing lane becomes available, MOVE OVER TO THE RIGHT LANE.

Once you do this, DO NOT SPEED UP. Just maintain whatever speed you were traveling at before the passing lane appeared.  Idiot.

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R.I.P. Gerry Rafferty

Posted in music, news, obituaries, opinion, pop culture, r.i.p., stars with tags , , , , , on January 5, 2011 by seehoweasy

The first time I heard “Baker Street,” I was in my Aunt and Uncle’s RV with them and my cousins and some of their friends. The lot of us were going to the desert to ride ATCs. Being an 8 year old tremendously moved by music had an endless bouquet of advantages in 1979, and Gerry Rafferty’s constant airplay was just another one of them. Ensconced in all the music American society now deems “classic rock”, songs like “Right Down The Line” and “Baker Street” chilled me to my bones in the best of ways. Melodic and downright inventive in ways pop or rock or whatever you choose to call it rarely is these days. I have grown up to become a musician myself, and have found success that is beyond my mother’s wildest dreams. Being a songwriter, I have come to learn that what Gerry Rafferty accomplished is one of the rarest things in life; to have even one song become a part of American culture is almost impossible, but to have, arguably, two or three, and have them being original works with artistic integrity, well, that is something musicians/music fans like myself consider to be a jackpot of all kinds of sorts that is difficult to wrap one’s brain around. (A quick note to anyone unmoved by his body of work from a creative perspective, as I am sadly and frustratingly aware of the fact that he was not considered as “cool” or “important” by the media or the masses at the time of his passing as I find him to be: he made over $100,000 a year, up until he left us, from the royalties of “Baker Street” alone.) In my twenties, I was the chief songwriter in a rock group, and I studied his songs, finding them to be compositions and not just songs, works of art and not merely forced creations with which to make money and please (the countless and revolting) rattlesnakes in the music industry. His songs inspired me to try and do something as good, and his career was something of a template for what I wanted my band to accomplish. (His songs are currently playing in grocery stores and casinos as I write, so who really cares how “cool” or “important” anyone says he is on Facebook or Myspace?) I later learned that he had fronted Stealer’s Wheel and had success there too with “Stuck In The Middle With You.”

 

I bought his solo efforts, City To City and Night Owl, and the former became one of my favorite records of all-time. The entire album is fantastic, and songs like “Whatever’s Written In Your Heart” and “City To City” are so instantly likable, I am still surprised they are not widely-known. Anyway, he passed away yesterday. He has been out of the public eye for ages, but no one has ever replaced him. I am far from ashamed to admit that I have been listening to his songs all morning and crying my eyes out.

Parenthetically, I had the great honor of meeting Walter Becker a few years ago. (Becker and Donald Fagen had wanted Rafferty to be the vocalist for their new band, Steely Dan, way back in 1971.) I got to tell Mr. Becker what his music meant to me. I tried to, anyway. It was impossible to actually do, but what I said had reached him and it gives me a lot of peace to know I told him. I never did run into Gerry Rafferty, so I have posted this blog instead, and I will pretend I ran into him on the street: “Thank you, Gerry. You don’t see it on Entertainment Tonight or anything, but what you have done is important, and it really matters.” Rest In Peace.

No One Has ADHD. Sorry, It Is Complete Bullshit

Posted in Cheating, crime, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, politics, pop culture, total bullshit, Uncategorized with tags , , on January 3, 2011 by seehoweasy

(NRB Opinion) The other night, a couple of teenagers came over to my house. I had never met them before, they were tagging along with a friend of mine. They were dressed like they had money – and real spiffy, like a lot of thought went into their outfits. They were also two of the rudest people I have ever met. No big deal to me – I am used to rude people, and I don’t take it personally. Besides, they are kids and I am almost forty years old. Anyway, they were a couple “in love.”  She seemed to be the nicer of the two, but it was hard to tell, as she rarely got to finish a sentence. He interrupted her endlessly. He really had a lot of opinions. He knew a lot of things about a lot of things. Then it came out: “I have ADHD,” he informed us, almost like he wore it as a badge of honor. So did she, she told us. They both had ADHD.

I’m no doctor, but I will tell you a story. Years ago, in about 1995 when everyone I knew started getting diagnosed with ADHD, I met a kid who told me about every ten minutes that he had ADHD. We became friends. One day I pointed out to him that whenever we talked about him, or some band he liked, or some girl he wanted to nail, he was all ears. There was nothing medically wrong with him. He was just a selfish dick. Those wound up being his own words he used to describe himself.  A selfish dick. After a while, he proudly exclaimed on a regular basis that he had never had ADHD.

I was thinking while I was talking to these kids last night that their parents just didn’t want to deal with them. “My kid is being difficult. I will put him on some medicine.” It all probably has to do with the fact that both parents commonly work these days. Kids hate that. I promise. But that is for another blog, another day.

I still do not know anyone who has been diagnosed with ADHD who gets distracted when they are talking about themselves. The whole sick thing seems like an excuse to not learn manners, politeness or decency. Like a license to be self-centered to the extreme. Just my opinion. And my apologies to the few people out there who really have it. But they wouldn’t be still reading this, would they?

A-Rod Hits The Hell Out Of #600, It Lands In A Handbasket

Posted in arod, Cheating, crime, lindsay lohan, odors, opinion, sports, total bullshit with tags , , , on August 4, 2010 by seehoweasy

NRB COMMENTARY:

On August 4th, 2010, New York Yankee’s third baseman Alex Rodriguez became the youngest player in major league history to hit 600 home runs.

As a huge baseball fan, here are my thoughts about it:

– It is a milestone, no doubt about it; steroids don’t necessarily make people hit home runs, otherwise everyone who ever took them would be home run kings. There is the whole hand/eye coordination element to consider.

– Alex Rodriguez has admitted to using steroids. That, to me, in and of itself, sucks – but is forgivable. However, because of the way his steroid use came out, in lie-filled spurts, and because of his overall gross, self-centered attitude towards baseball, I cannot find it anywhere inside of myself to feel good about #600, or any of his accomplishments.

He doesn’t care what I think. But I doubt he cares what anybody thinks.

I’m not too sad. At least Yankee fans finally have something to celebrate.

“I’m On The Toilet” a Good Text Defense Against Unwanted Calls

Posted in crime, lindsay lohan, odors, opinion, pop culture, sluts, texting, total bullshit with tags , , on July 23, 2010 by seehoweasy

(NRB Study) You text someone hello, and suddenly you have an unwanted, incoming call from that person. It has happened to all of us. There are some relationships that just don’t require actual conversations. A text check-in here and there is more than enough, as far as we’re concerned. The other party, upon calling and not getting an answer, is baffled and texts us one of these:

“u there?”

Or…

“wtf”

Or…

“Call Me”

I have learned that a terse “I Am On The Toilet” text scares them away.  The only con is that you will undoubtedly get a really unfunny text or comment from them about how you only contact/think of them while you are taking a shit.

Kissing Like It’s Love by The Voyces

Posted in facial hair, funny, music, music video, pop culture, sluts with tags , , , on June 15, 2010 by seehoweasy

Thank You, In-And-Out Burger, For Not Selling Chicken

Posted in food, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, pop culture, sluts with tags , , , , , , , on June 8, 2010 by seehoweasy

They are the only restaurant left that has not fussed up their menu. They just sell hamburgers and fries. That’s it. They have not added fajitas, or chicken droppers, or apple caddies. They just sell burgers. Thank God.

Remember when the menu at McDonald’s was simple? They had some variety, sure. They had apple pies and fish sandwiches – and a few different kinds of hamburgers. But to walk in there now – I don’t even know where to look anymore.  (Apples?! Seriously? Is anyone going to McDonald’s for fresh fruit?) I get it, so don’t try and school me about our unhealthy American culture, or money, or any of it. I get it. One thing is for sure, and I am using the word very specifically: it is all very, very dorky. Analyzing linguistics and everything – yes, dorky is the perfect word for it.  I mean, have you gone to Taco Bell lately? They frigging sell Doritos. It is so lame (it is not unlike Captain EO at Disneyland).

Jack In The Box, Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, Burger King – they all need to settle down. Keep it simple.

In-And-Out certainly does not appear to be struggling, despite the fact that they haven’t started selling “jalapeno dippers” or anything else out of their wheelhouse.  Every time I go there, the line is huge. They can call it In-And-Out-In-An-Hour. Doesn’t bother me. The line takes awhile because some people are probably ordering things off of the “secret menu.” Nothing dorky about that.