Poll: Old Bands Simply “Way Cooler” Than Newer Groups

(NRB Study) Maybe we can blame it on the fact that new technology has made it simpler than ever before for new artists to create and release albums. Or perhaps the fault can be placed squarely on the “Generation C” problem. (Generation C stands for Generation Condoms; These days, most young people have never had sex without condoms and, therefore, just don’t feel anything in life anymore. This, obviously, carries over into art and music and everything slowly starts sucking more and more.)

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In the old days, music was just better. This is according to a new NRB poll. Of the people between the ages of 15 and 36 asked to compare new music to older music, a whopping seventy-five percent of them favored the music of the 50’s, 60’s & 70’s.

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“People had better sex back then,” explained one participant.

“This really shows. Just listen to Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd. You can almost smell the sheets.”

The other explanation for most new bands sucking shit has to do with “how easy it is for bands like Air” to record in the first place, chirped another of those polled before he went on to explain you can tell all of this from pictures of the bands alone. “Just look at the artists of yesterday and today. No aural test is necessary.”

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Having taken these words to heart, as part of our study we showed the participants a photograph of Air (above) and asked them to compare it with a picture of Steely Dan (below).

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Steely Dan was the winner by knockout. Someone asked if the guys in the first photograph were still virgins. When asked to elaborate, the group said, basically in unison, that the guys in Steely Dan were “just way cooler.”

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