Archive for the facial hair Category
NRB Study: According to our recent study, men who are able to pull off wearing a mustache fall into (at least) one of only four categories. This is according to over one hundred “cool women” we polled. This information might be a revelation for those who had previously believed that all mustachioed men were gay and/or trying to frighten off women.
Our extensive research unveiled four, and only four, categories to which a man with an acceptable mustache belongs (Each category contains at least one sub-category).
According to the women of taste with whom we spoke, unless a man can claim to be in one of the following groups, he should not grow hair above his lip.
ACCEPTABLE MUSTACHE CATEGORY #1: POLICE OFFICERS (also: Dads over fifty-years-old)
ACCEPTABLE MUSTACHE CATEGORY #2: GAYS (also: actors, musicians)
ACCEPTABLE MUSTACHE CATEGORY #3: FIREMEN (See POLICE OFFICERS)
ACCEPTABLE MUSTACHE CATEGORY #4: ACTUAL COWBOYS (also: anyone legitimately hot)
Women warn however that, despite the existence of these helpful categories, it is not a sure thing. “Many stumble,” claimed one woman in our study. “As a rule, if a guy is good-looking enough it does not really hurt him.”
She continued, “But if a woman is on the fence about how she feels about a guy’s looks, usually a mustache is the kiss of death.”