Archive for everything sucks now

No One Has ADHD. Sorry, It Is Complete Bullshit

Posted in Cheating, crime, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, politics, pop culture, total bullshit, Uncategorized with tags , , on January 3, 2011 by seehoweasy

(NRB Opinion) The other night, a couple of teenagers came over to my house. I had never met them before, they were tagging along with a friend of mine. They were dressed like they had money – and real spiffy, like a lot of thought went into their outfits. They were also two of the rudest people I have ever met. No big deal to me – I am used to rude people, and I don’t take it personally. Besides, they are kids and I am almost forty years old. Anyway, they were a couple “in love.”  She seemed to be the nicer of the two, but it was hard to tell, as she rarely got to finish a sentence. He interrupted her endlessly. He really had a lot of opinions. He knew a lot of things about a lot of things. Then it came out: “I have ADHD,” he informed us, almost like he wore it as a badge of honor. So did she, she told us. They both had ADHD.

I’m no doctor, but I will tell you a story. Years ago, in about 1995 when everyone I knew started getting diagnosed with ADHD, I met a kid who told me about every ten minutes that he had ADHD. We became friends. One day I pointed out to him that whenever we talked about him, or some band he liked, or some girl he wanted to nail, he was all ears. There was nothing medically wrong with him. He was just a selfish dick. Those wound up being his own words he used to describe himself.  A selfish dick. After a while, he proudly exclaimed on a regular basis that he had never had ADHD.

I was thinking while I was talking to these kids last night that their parents just didn’t want to deal with them. “My kid is being difficult. I will put him on some medicine.” It all probably has to do with the fact that both parents commonly work these days. Kids hate that. I promise. But that is for another blog, another day.

I still do not know anyone who has been diagnosed with ADHD who gets distracted when they are talking about themselves. The whole sick thing seems like an excuse to not learn manners, politeness or decency. Like a license to be self-centered to the extreme. Just my opinion. And my apologies to the few people out there who really have it. But they wouldn’t be still reading this, would they?

Thank You, In-And-Out Burger, For Not Selling Chicken

Posted in food, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, pop culture, sluts with tags , , , , , , , on June 8, 2010 by seehoweasy

They are the only restaurant left that has not fussed up their menu. They just sell hamburgers and fries. That’s it. They have not added fajitas, or chicken droppers, or apple caddies. They just sell burgers. Thank God.

Remember when the menu at McDonald’s was simple? They had some variety, sure. They had apple pies and fish sandwiches – and a few different kinds of hamburgers. But to walk in there now – I don’t even know where to look anymore.  (Apples?! Seriously? Is anyone going to McDonald’s for fresh fruit?) I get it, so don’t try and school me about our unhealthy American culture, or money, or any of it. I get it. One thing is for sure, and I am using the word very specifically: it is all very, very dorky. Analyzing linguistics and everything – yes, dorky is the perfect word for it.  I mean, have you gone to Taco Bell lately? They frigging sell Doritos. It is so lame (it is not unlike Captain EO at Disneyland).

Jack In The Box, Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, Burger King – they all need to settle down. Keep it simple.

In-And-Out certainly does not appear to be struggling, despite the fact that they haven’t started selling “jalapeno dippers” or anything else out of their wheelhouse.  Every time I go there, the line is huge. They can call it In-And-Out-In-An-Hour. Doesn’t bother me. The line takes awhile because some people are probably ordering things off of the “secret menu.” Nothing dorky about that.

Gum Sucks Now

Posted in food, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, politics, pop culture, sluts, total bullshit with tags , , , , , , on December 6, 2009 by seehoweasy

Why is it so hard to find good gum anymore? I don’t want to buy three packs of gum. I don’t want some slender box of johnny-come-lately-gee-I’m-good-for-your-teeth gum. I want a solitary, rectangular box of bubble gum. It’s not so simple to get, let me tell you. I know one can find them still. But it’s getting harder.

Often, if I want plain bubble gum flavored bubble gum, I am left with one option. A three-pack of Orbit, which doesn’t even let you blow bubbles! Does it? I wouldn’t know. Their commercials have prevented me from supporting them.

I don’t want toothpaste. I don’t care if it doesn’t promote cavities.

I don’t want mouthwash. I don’t give a flying crap if it freshens my mouth. I mean, the smell of a gumball is pretty awesome all on its own.

I want a pack of gum that doesn’t look like a cigarette case from the 1940’s. With gum in it that promotes tooth decay. And I want to blow huge bubbles.

Stop policing me! Who is doing this? Everything is just getting lamer and lamer now, and gum is just a microcosm of our whole social paradigm: “Ehhhhh, let’s put whitener in the gum, ehhhhhhh.”

Oh sorry, guys! I just wanted to blow a bubble! I’m sorry. I’ll go home and brush my teeth instead. With my toothpaste that a) whitens b) straightens my teeth c) gives me fresh breath d) contains antioxidants e) acts as an appetite suppressant.

Our teeth may be whiter, but who cares if nobody’s smiling.

An Open Letter To Everyone Involved In The “Viva Viagra” Ad Campaign

Posted in crime, lindsay lohan, news, odors, opinion, politics, sluts, total bullshit with tags , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2009 by seehoweasy

173_20070725094014

Dear Marketing people behind the Viva Viagra ad campaign & the musicians who re-recorded “Viva Las Vegas” for the Viagra ad campaign,

How do you sleep?

Sincerely,

Almost Everyone on Earth

Who the fuck cares what anyone thinks?

Posted in Blogroll, opinion, politics, pop culture, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on January 5, 2008 by seehoweasy

Yesterday, while checking my mail at AOL, I took the bait and clicked on a news story link about a possible connection between nonfat milk and prostate cancer. Next to the article was a little box where people could cast their vote. The poll? What kind of milk do you drink? Who fucking cares?

81.jpg

I guess I am a socialist. Polls are starting to make me hate everyone. “Ehhhh, I drink nonfat milk.” SO WHAT. Anyone who answers these polls is a loser, right? Do you agree?

91.jpg


I mean, what do YOU think?

Starbucks: Finally, A Big Company Helps “The Little Guy.”

Posted in Blogroll, crime, food, lindsay lohan, music, opinion, politics, pop culture, sluts, stars, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on September 27, 2007 by seehoweasy

It is not often that a powerful institution comes along and wields its all-mighty sword with the sole aim of helping the bureaucratically-challenged. But thank God for Starbucks. With their new record label (HearMusic) in full swing, underground musicians will finally get the press and recognition they deserve.

star0206.jpg

Since Starbucks first created the HearMusic program, which, along with its own station on XM radio, was conceived as a kind of “launching pad” for unknown artists, the music business has gained in every respect. “The business had become corroded by red tape of all kinds,” spouted one insider, “but Starbucks is all about the underdog. When it comes to selling music, money is not our motive.”

xin_280604050902581233803.jpg

It is so difficult for up-and-coming music artists to get themselves heard that Starbucks is like an answered prayer for any would-be musician. The big record labels are all about the bottom line. Not so when it comes to the trailblazers at Starbucks. The last time I was there, I was reminded about bands and artists I had almost entirely forgotten about, due to the helpful display cases that surrounded the sandwiches! Ella Fitzgerald? The Dave Matthews Band? Sheryl Crow? THERE they are!

hainsworth_mclachlan_big.jpg

It is so cool that, also, if you break up the name of the store it says Star bucks!

So cool!

UPDATE: 2/10/11 — They are shutting down their music label.

Tonight: President Bush To Address The Nation

Posted in Blogroll, cartoon, crime, lindsay lohan, news, opinion, politics, television, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on September 13, 2007 by seehoweasy

For the occasion, here is a political cartoon.

georgebush.jpg